The Double-Chocolate-Vanilla-Bean-with-a-Caramel-Core Magnum of Monday Night Television

Hey guys.

So, for those of you who a) are ignorant heathens or b) Mole People sheltered from society for their entire childhoods and therefore do not know what a Magnum is…well.

Let’s just say it’s true happiness in the form of a bronze-coloured wrapper that opens to the delight that is a heart of double caramel layers wrapped in a silken blanket of rich, dark chocolate. Feast your eyes kids, feast your eyes.

Essentially, the Magnum was the apple of every child’s eye on hot summer nights after playing a game of Sardines in the cul-de-sac with the rest of the neighbourhood children. And now, as a teenager on the cusp of adulthood (okay, a couple of years from adulthood), not much has changed.

The Magnum has now become the epitome of a guilty pleasure, much like the guilty pleasure shared by thousands of Americans (and I’m sure many abroad) alike.

According to an Oregon State University survey, Americans spend 1/3 of their free time watching television and of that 67% are reality shows.

And yes, as much as I will deny it/try to fight it, there is just something about watching rich white moms pull each other’s hair over a glass of Chardonnay or the most recent argument of whether or not Kim should get another x-ray of her butt that completely pulls me in and proves addicting every.single.time.

I mean, it’s the ultimate guilty pleasure, whether you accept it or not. Even my oldest brother, who swore off television (reality-based or not) on the basis of “poisoning his intellectual integrity” has more than once been caught wide-eyed mid-sentence staring at the flat-screen with the glazed look many are familiar with associating to a new Grey’s Anatomy episode.

So, what is our obsession with this “mind-poisoning” form of entertainment? And, should we try to fight it?

As a side-note, I have to confess that I am watching The Bachelorette literally as I type this, and in fact, the show was the reason that I got to thinking: “What is it about this show that I love to watch it every single Monday night (and scream at the screen for Kaitlyn to open her eyes and choose Ben H. already!)”

Honestly, I think it has something to do with our subconscious love for all things “juicy”. I mean, c'mon, who hasn’t pricked up their ears whenever gossip begins to make its way around the conference room (or in my case, cafeteria). It’s a natural human instinct to want to vent, and receive reciprocation in return. To talk behind people’s backs is something that is satisfying because people just love to hear what they want to hear. They want to feel validated and confident in what they say and feel. It’s the classic case of Confirmation Bias. Not only do we vicariously live that through our favourite reality TV shows, but we also love the ensuing drama, whether it involves tears, violence, or overflowing emotions.

Despite most people saying that they “hate drama” and “try to avoid conflict”, we have perennially continued to be attracted to shows involving violence and internal/external conflicts. I mean, it’s the basis for every good story isn’t it? Just like a good kiss scene is an absolute must in every movie, no matter if it’s horror, comedy, or mystery.

In that same way, reality TV seems to offer a certain safety in getting out feelings you normally would never dare to dramatically spill during a nice Thanksgiving dinner. Not to mention it’s wayyy more relatable than a staged show that is clearly scripted (not that reality TV isn’t scripted too). Simply, it’s a nighttime pleasure that nobody can deny.

But anyways, I guess in answer to my original question, no, I don’t think we should fight this new era of entertainment supposedly based on “reality”, or the “reality” we wish we could live sometimes because just because it’s new, doesn’t make it bad. Just like twerking can be compared to the negative response to waltzing when it first came to the scene in the 19th century, maybe this type of TV isn’t as scandalous as it seems.

Or then again, maybe the 9.2 million plastic surgery procedures performed as result of people watching these shows begs the question: is Kim Kardashian’s motley crew of curve-a-licious family members worth all the drama?

Yes, she says licking her chocolate-caramel-telltale fingers and throwing the bronze wrapper into the trash. Yes it is.

Until tomorrow friends,

Regina L.